I have not been blogging as much about the topics I wanted to. And the reason is, as I've mentioned, I have been having a LOT of health and personal issues. A lot.
Although I haven't talked with a lot of people about it, my immediate family has been well-aware of the hell I've been going through. And I won't go into all the details because the truth is we don't KNOW all the details. We're not sure exactly what is going on but it would appear that there are probably a lot of hormonal things going on that are throwing my body off. And you can imagine how all the hormonal changes of pregnancy don't make that any better. And there are many other things. But again, I'm not going to go into all of it. I'll just say it's been pretty horrible.
But I'm also feeling a lot of confusion. Many of you know that I have been working on my teaching degree for over 7 years now. I've always felt like teaching was my calling and my passion, that it was what I was absolutely meant to do. But because of these issues, I have had to quit my teaching job. Now this was not my long-term teaching job. But having to quit it is a big deal because we had a very specific plan as to how the next 12-15 months of our lives were supposed to go. (Don't laugh! ;-))
I was supposed to teach through August. After my contract was up, I got to take a week off and then I would start student teaching. (I have taken all the courses I need for my degree; the only part left of my degree is student teaching). I would student teach from the end of August until the middle of December. This worked well when we found out we were pregnant, too, because the baby is not due until Jan 20. Then I would substitute, tutor, and do whatever else I needed to do until the 2013-2014 school year started. Hopefully I would secure a job during the spring/summer.
But having to quit my job now derails us a bit because it brings up the question: CAN I student teach? CAN I finish my degree? CAN I even teach long-term?
And what's so confusing about all of this is that this is NOT the first time this has happened. Two years ago, I experienced similar, debilitating health issues and had to quit going to school and working. When I pulled out of school, the student teaching I was signed up to do the next semester was ruined. I had to pull out because I hadn't finished my course requirements. I was able to return to work part-time a few months later and have been doing good ever since.
But now here we are again... on the verge of finishing my degree and being smacked upside the head with all these issues that could possibly mean not being able to do anything I thought I was going to do.
It's just very confusing. I don't know if it's a God thing, a Devil thing.... or just a THING.
I know the only real thing I can do here is pray. Pray that God would answer that looming question and show me what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. Pray that God would show me if all these health issues are for a greater purpose or if they're just a stumbling block.
I'd like to get this blog "on track" and write about the topics I'd planned.... health and wellness during pregnancy, great recipes, workouts, etc. But right now, this is where I'm at with my pregnancy. This is where being pregnant has taken me.
I pray that your day and your week are a blessing! And I'll gladly accept any prayers and well-wishes for the situations our family is going through right now as we sort through this muddled mess.
Melissa
Monday, June 25, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
Being Pregnant... It Ain't For Sissies!
This may come off a little whiny (ok, maybe a lot whiny!), but it has to be said. This pregnancy stuff is not for sissies! I am just now 9 weeks into my pregnancy. Still SUPER early along. But the last 4-6 weeks have been ROUGH.
First of all, I am EX.HAUSTED. Imagine when you're sick with the flu or something, and you just can't get your energy up. That's me. I wake up tired. And then I try and sleep or nap and it's impossible. I've never had such awful insomnia. I can't get comfortable. I'm hot. I'm restless. And even when I DO get comfy, I just plain can't sleep. It''s 4:40 pm now and I've actually been in my bed since about 1 pm trying to nap. As has been the case almost every time for the last few weeks, I barely started to drift off and was woken up. Most of the time it's something (or some ONE ;-)) who wakes me, but regardless of what or who it is... I cannot ever get back to sleep. :(
Then I spend the rest of the day just wishing I could sleep because I'm right at that point of "I can't function without some more sleep". It's not a great place to be in =/
And I'm hungry. Oh my gosh, am I hungry! But I'm not craving fresh veggies and diet cokes... Oh no! It's pizza and Doritos, Frosted Flakes, and Italian food. I even scrounged through my wallet yesterday to see what kind of money I had so that I could get chicken nuggets from McDonalds! And if you know anything about me, you know McDonalds *repulses* me! Luckily, my husband bought a 20 pack for the 3 of us to share.... because I polished off ten or more on my own! =/
And then of course when it comes to eating any food I actually have on hand, I literally gag.
My nausea has subsided a *little*... but I'm still popping ginger root more mornings than not just because of the constant feeling of motion sickness.
Unfortunately, these are not the biggest of my problems. My adrenal issues have really been in full force just because of everything ELSE that's going on with my body. So I get to go see an endocrinologist soon, too.
And of course, I'm not complaining just to complain. I'm grateful that my body is doing what it's supposed to be doing to grow a hopefully healthy baby. I know that I have to make adjustments as these things come, but mostly I'm just glad that everything seems to be going good with the baby. They say that every pregnancy is different. And considering I remember Abbie's being a cakewalk, that couldn't be more true!
Melissa
First of all, I am EX.HAUSTED. Imagine when you're sick with the flu or something, and you just can't get your energy up. That's me. I wake up tired. And then I try and sleep or nap and it's impossible. I've never had such awful insomnia. I can't get comfortable. I'm hot. I'm restless. And even when I DO get comfy, I just plain can't sleep. It''s 4:40 pm now and I've actually been in my bed since about 1 pm trying to nap. As has been the case almost every time for the last few weeks, I barely started to drift off and was woken up. Most of the time it's something (or some ONE ;-)) who wakes me, but regardless of what or who it is... I cannot ever get back to sleep. :(
Then I spend the rest of the day just wishing I could sleep because I'm right at that point of "I can't function without some more sleep". It's not a great place to be in =/
And I'm hungry. Oh my gosh, am I hungry! But I'm not craving fresh veggies and diet cokes... Oh no! It's pizza and Doritos, Frosted Flakes, and Italian food. I even scrounged through my wallet yesterday to see what kind of money I had so that I could get chicken nuggets from McDonalds! And if you know anything about me, you know McDonalds *repulses* me! Luckily, my husband bought a 20 pack for the 3 of us to share.... because I polished off ten or more on my own! =/
And then of course when it comes to eating any food I actually have on hand, I literally gag.
My nausea has subsided a *little*... but I'm still popping ginger root more mornings than not just because of the constant feeling of motion sickness.
Unfortunately, these are not the biggest of my problems. My adrenal issues have really been in full force just because of everything ELSE that's going on with my body. So I get to go see an endocrinologist soon, too.
And of course, I'm not complaining just to complain. I'm grateful that my body is doing what it's supposed to be doing to grow a hopefully healthy baby. I know that I have to make adjustments as these things come, but mostly I'm just glad that everything seems to be going good with the baby. They say that every pregnancy is different. And considering I remember Abbie's being a cakewalk, that couldn't be more true!
Melissa
Monday, June 4, 2012
A Health Hurdle....
Ugh! My adrenal fatigue is worse than it's been in a long time. For those of you who don't know about adrenal fatigue or have not heard me talk about it before in my other blog, here are some resources :)
http://bodyecology.com/articles/adrenal_fatigue_symptoms.php
http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/
http://www.organicthrifty.com/2010/02/10/celestes-story-part-1recovering-from-adrenal-fatigue/
I have woke up the last two nights with a racing heart, which is a horrible feeling if you've never been through it. And it makes it somewhat difficult to go BACK to sleep. But last night took the cake. I spent basically the entire night awake. I was so wired and so exhausted at the same time. I was stressed, stressed, stressed! And the longer I was awake, the more I stressed.... thinking "I have to go to bed. It's our first day of summer school tomorrow. I have tons of things to do in the morning. It's 10 o clock... It's 11 o clock... it's 2 am. I have to go to bed. I have to go to bed" and on it went so that I eventually only got a couple of hours of horrible sleep. But my worst thought was "I'm so stressed. I'm going to lose this baby" :( :( I woke up this morning, drug myself to work, and greeted my students. Thankfully, after telling my boss about the night I'd had, she made me leave a couple hours into the school day. I came home, took an hour nap, and got up and regrouped. But I have to say I can tell that my adrenals are really slipping.
And if you haven't read the links and have no idea what adrenal fatigue involves, it's complicated. It basically requires REALLY good nutrition, REALLY good sleep, and living as stress-free as you can. That's all. :-/
So I'm trying to get back on top of it. I'm reaching out; I called my midwife's nurse. Twice. :/ And I'm trying to remind myself of what all I did to overcome this disorder to begin with.
But with all that being said, I have to say that I can be incredibly grateful that my adrenals are nowhere NEAR as bad as they were nearly two years ago. Even though they're worse than they've been in a long time, I know that it's manageable. A couple of years ago, it was barely manageable.
But I look forward to getting over this hurdle, talking to my midwife about it, and hopefully not having to suffer with this for too much more of my pregnancy.
Melissa
http://bodyecology.com/articles/adrenal_fatigue_symptoms.php
http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/
http://www.organicthrifty.com/2010/02/10/celestes-story-part-1recovering-from-adrenal-fatigue/
I have woke up the last two nights with a racing heart, which is a horrible feeling if you've never been through it. And it makes it somewhat difficult to go BACK to sleep. But last night took the cake. I spent basically the entire night awake. I was so wired and so exhausted at the same time. I was stressed, stressed, stressed! And the longer I was awake, the more I stressed.... thinking "I have to go to bed. It's our first day of summer school tomorrow. I have tons of things to do in the morning. It's 10 o clock... It's 11 o clock... it's 2 am. I have to go to bed. I have to go to bed" and on it went so that I eventually only got a couple of hours of horrible sleep. But my worst thought was "I'm so stressed. I'm going to lose this baby" :( :( I woke up this morning, drug myself to work, and greeted my students. Thankfully, after telling my boss about the night I'd had, she made me leave a couple hours into the school day. I came home, took an hour nap, and got up and regrouped. But I have to say I can tell that my adrenals are really slipping.
And if you haven't read the links and have no idea what adrenal fatigue involves, it's complicated. It basically requires REALLY good nutrition, REALLY good sleep, and living as stress-free as you can. That's all. :-/
So I'm trying to get back on top of it. I'm reaching out; I called my midwife's nurse. Twice. :/ And I'm trying to remind myself of what all I did to overcome this disorder to begin with.
But with all that being said, I have to say that I can be incredibly grateful that my adrenals are nowhere NEAR as bad as they were nearly two years ago. Even though they're worse than they've been in a long time, I know that it's manageable. A couple of years ago, it was barely manageable.
But I look forward to getting over this hurdle, talking to my midwife about it, and hopefully not having to suffer with this for too much more of my pregnancy.
Melissa
Saturday, June 2, 2012
A little over 2 weeks ago, we found out we were expecting our 2nd child. Although surprised (we weren't planning on getting pregnant for another few months),we were SO excited! One thing I was not excited about, however, was the fact that I had really wanted to get in shape this summer.
Now I am not big. I am not heavy. But before anyone throws stones... I want to say that this was not about losing weight or feeling smaller. It was about feeling BETTER and about being happy with where I was. When we found out we were pregnant, I was not happy with where I was personally.
And there's a lot of things that play into that. I have not actively worked out in probably 4 years. I have not frequented the gym since I was pregnant with our first child,Abbie, over 5 years ago. For the last 2 years, I have struggled with health issues that take a toll on my weight and my body, particularly
my belly (one side effect of my health issue is that you can tend to hold a lot of extra weight in your mid-section).
And since I started teaching again about 6 months ago, it has taken more of a toll on my body. (That'll happen when you don't ever say "no" to the mass quantities of cookies, cupcakes, donuts, and other things that are constantly brought your way.) And while I'm grateful to have such sweet parents and
coworkers who constantly provide those things, it does not do much for my fitness goals.
Add that to the fact that, while on my feet all day, the extent of my walking is limited to my small classroom and you've got a combination that is determined to spell weight-gain.
So I wasn't really surprised when I stepped on the scale for my first prenatal appointment and I was almost 15 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant with Abbie.
And it really got me thinking.... how do I keep this pregnancy from taking the minor problems I already have and making them major ones? I don't feel comfortable going out and getting a gym membership. I'm not going to start running 5 miles a day. Obviously, I won't be going on a crazy diet.
So my dilemma was... how do I at least somewhat meet my fitness goals and get to a healthier place WHILE growing a person inside of me?
I won't tell you I came up with some genius idea. I didn't. But I did vow to make this pregnancy a healthy and happy one.
The last two weeks have felt like 2 months. I have felt like I have car or motion sickness a good part of the day. I have had horrible headaches. I have been starving half the time and disgusted by food the other half. And it has been an adjustment for me because I never really felt like this with Abbie.
My health issues have made me even MORE tired, so much so that there have been days where I couldn't even completely finish my work day.
But on top of all that, there has been a voice in the back of my head telling me to not lose touch of my health goals.
So I started prenatal yoga. And I didn't let myself eat twice as much dessert just because "I'm pregnant". I remembered to take the herbs I take to stay on top of my health issues. I kept walking at least a couple of times a week even though I didn't feel up to it. I consciously remembered to eat enough vegetables (this is a problem for me as a picky eater, but veggies are also very important to my health issues). I've vaguely paying attention to calories, although I'm not counting. And I plan on doing all of that throughout this pregnancy.
I'll blog about work out routines, recipes, and any exciting things this pregnancy brings! I hope that sharing this awesome journey will hold me accountable and also be a little entertaining at the same time! ;-)
Melissa
Now I am not big. I am not heavy. But before anyone throws stones... I want to say that this was not about losing weight or feeling smaller. It was about feeling BETTER and about being happy with where I was. When we found out we were pregnant, I was not happy with where I was personally.
And there's a lot of things that play into that. I have not actively worked out in probably 4 years. I have not frequented the gym since I was pregnant with our first child,Abbie, over 5 years ago. For the last 2 years, I have struggled with health issues that take a toll on my weight and my body, particularly
my belly (one side effect of my health issue is that you can tend to hold a lot of extra weight in your mid-section).
And since I started teaching again about 6 months ago, it has taken more of a toll on my body. (That'll happen when you don't ever say "no" to the mass quantities of cookies, cupcakes, donuts, and other things that are constantly brought your way.) And while I'm grateful to have such sweet parents and
coworkers who constantly provide those things, it does not do much for my fitness goals.
Add that to the fact that, while on my feet all day, the extent of my walking is limited to my small classroom and you've got a combination that is determined to spell weight-gain.
So I wasn't really surprised when I stepped on the scale for my first prenatal appointment and I was almost 15 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant with Abbie.
And it really got me thinking.... how do I keep this pregnancy from taking the minor problems I already have and making them major ones? I don't feel comfortable going out and getting a gym membership. I'm not going to start running 5 miles a day. Obviously, I won't be going on a crazy diet.
So my dilemma was... how do I at least somewhat meet my fitness goals and get to a healthier place WHILE growing a person inside of me?
I won't tell you I came up with some genius idea. I didn't. But I did vow to make this pregnancy a healthy and happy one.
The last two weeks have felt like 2 months. I have felt like I have car or motion sickness a good part of the day. I have had horrible headaches. I have been starving half the time and disgusted by food the other half. And it has been an adjustment for me because I never really felt like this with Abbie.
My health issues have made me even MORE tired, so much so that there have been days where I couldn't even completely finish my work day.
But on top of all that, there has been a voice in the back of my head telling me to not lose touch of my health goals.
So I started prenatal yoga. And I didn't let myself eat twice as much dessert just because "I'm pregnant". I remembered to take the herbs I take to stay on top of my health issues. I kept walking at least a couple of times a week even though I didn't feel up to it. I consciously remembered to eat enough vegetables (this is a problem for me as a picky eater, but veggies are also very important to my health issues). I've vaguely paying attention to calories, although I'm not counting. And I plan on doing all of that throughout this pregnancy.
I'll blog about work out routines, recipes, and any exciting things this pregnancy brings! I hope that sharing this awesome journey will hold me accountable and also be a little entertaining at the same time! ;-)
Melissa
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)